My Mother's Journey

Things have been a little busy around here but I'm going to attempt a little catch up. It will be short and brief! I'm tired.

Well, we're finally in a 2 bedroom flat and have been for almost 2 weeks now. The place is decorated and we're at home.

For 4 weeks, my mum has had to fight to be seen. She was told she would meet with the surgeon up to 2 weeks after her last appointment and it has now been almost 4. She is heading into hospital on Monday but she has really had to fight for it. Daily phone calls that weren't going through to eventually finding out she wasn't even on the bloody system after 3 weeks.

Now, on Monday, she is heading into hospital where they'll make a small cut in her throat and put a camera down. They'll be checking out her lymph nodes and behind her breast bone. If there's nothing there, it will be surgery where at least 1/3rd and up to the whole lung will be removed. If there is something, it'll be 3 months of chemo and radiation and hoping for the best.

Her friend Caroline, with the exact same thing, has just had her chemo and radiation and amazingly is now in remission... it's fantastic and has lifted our hopes quite a bit.

However, last Monday Gerald passed away. Throughout the day, he'd been all wrapped up and cold and he passed very suddenly. It was such a shock and my granny is devastated.

Now, we're sitting here watching a horror movie. My mum has been a bit cold today - she's usually boiling even in the dead of winter - and has quite significant pain. "Maybe it's my body shutting down like Gerald's," she said. I scoffed and told her not to be silly... I hadn't even thought like that till she mentioned it. Now? I'm worried. Scared to sleep and scared to wake up in the morning... just in case. I'm scared.